Crystal of the Month

Crystal of the Month

I’ve gone through some deep emotional trauma the last few weeks and have been feeling out of wack mentally and emotionally. A lot of unhealed issues dealing with worthiness and men resurfacing. Because of this I’ve been sleeping with rose quartz every night trying to give myself and extra dose of self love and warm feelings. But I have also been sleeping with chrysocolla. Chrysocolla is a blue-green crystal that looks spotted like a robins egg. It has calming nurturing energy. Enhances physic ability and intuition. Alleviates feelings of anxiety (which I need). Is divine feminine energy.

Chrysocolla is blue so it is calming in nature and it gives you a sense of self assurance that I really need right now. Compassion, gentleness and authentic expression are also qualities chrysocolla will bring out of you. Chrysocolla will help you with saying or not saying something you’ll regret.

In terms of health chrysocolla helps with physical aliments and swelling. As a feminine crystal it will also help with hormonal balance. It also has the ability to heal ovarian cysts. Chrysocolla will keep your temper in check with it’s calming properties. Wear or work with one daily for even temperance. Chrysocolla as a blue crystal has a relationship with the throat chakra and will help aid in compassionate speech when worked with.

Wearing or meditating with chrysocolla will also help with the psychic ability clairaudience which is the ability to hear spirits, energy and guidance. This deals with the throat chakra. It will also help in developing or deepening clarirsentience which is the ability to feel or sense the presence of spirits, energy, emotions or guidance in the solar plexus chakra.

Throat chakra. Self-love. Chrysocolla is a lot of compassion for self wrapped up in this blue crystal. A stone of communication. Empowerment and teaching. Helps with anxiety and depression.

I mediated with chrysocolla Tuesday night as I couldn’t sleep and had really deep sleep I woke up feeling like I had been asleep for years. And all the emotional trauma I had been experiencing has been softened which was much needed. Chrysocolla was a crystal I bought a couple years ago wanting to get more in touch with my divine feminine and it has helped me in many other ways. If you’re into crystals or want to be chrysocolla is a crystal that is needed in your collection.

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An Introduction to Astrology

An Introduction to Astrology

If you pay attention to my posts you’ll have noticed that I mention my sign or Sage’s sign sometimes even for minor things. So, I thought let’s do an intro to astrology post for those who don’t know a lot about astrology or feel like it’s not for them.

I’m just going to do a little back history and cover the very basics of astrology. The sun sign, moon sign, and rising sign. I’ll talk about my own. What astrology books I read who I follow on social media that has the best astrology advice and even tackle mercury retrograde which goes direct today.

Sun sign:

the sign that the sun was in at the time of your birth is your sun sign. The sun is the most important “planet” to earth. It sustains us. It is also the most important influence in your zodiac or birth chart. And in many ways determines how others see you. It is the very surface layer of who you are in terms of signs. Your external self.

Moon sign:

In the most basic terms your moon sign is your emotions. It’s where the moon was in the sky at the time of your birth. The Moon is the part of you that you see. The moon is your personality. It is your subconscious. The you that reacts. Your instinct. In many ways your moon personality is what you keep hidden from others.

Rising sign:

Your ascendent or rising sign is a very important part of your horoscope. The rising sign is the sign that reflects your outward demeanor and to determined how the outside world looks at you. This sign represents your outer personality. Your “image”. The rising and sun sign usually blend together giving a unique outward personality which is why some people of the same sun sign can be totally different as the rising sign is crucial to the personality. Your rising sign is the sign that was rising over the eastern horizon at the time of your birth.

That explains the gist of the signs that I find to be the most important in a birth chart but the Venus (love) and the Mercury (communication) signs are very important too in my opinion (maybe a second introduction post next month).

I am a Gemini sun-Scorpio rising-Capricorn moon. And I’ll talk about these signs a bit because I think these 3 signs are some of the most misunderstood of the zodiac.

As a Gemini I know the stereotypes are that we’re flighty, two faced, wishy-washy. But I think Gemini’s are the misunderstood sign because we want to be understood so much by our peers. We wrap so much of our worth into this feeling of being understood by others we forget to understand and learn ourselves. I honestly think Gemini’s are the child of the zodiac they (we) need so much reassurance, love, support and connection from those we love. Y’all know the problematic Gemini’s but some other famous gems are: Prince and Bob Dylan.

Scorpio’s I know are seen as secretive, the whole sex thing, and mysterious these qualities aren’t necessarily bad but explain very little about the Scorpio. Who is very self-conscious and afraid of being hurt so keeps people at distance (secretive) afraid of showing their real selves. Some famous Scorpio risings are Prince (again) and Diana Ross.

Capricorn’s like most earth signs I know are said to be practical and emotionless even boring (rolls eyes) but this is way far from the truth. As a Capricorn moon I’m insecure, I overthink everything, I analyze everything. I make everything emotional even when it’s not. Some famous Capricorn moons are: Anais Nin and Ernest Hemingway.

That’s my little insight on those signs so if you are one of these 3 there ya go.

On to the history of astrology for y’all who don’t believe it’s real.

Astrology has been studied for the past 5,000 years. Greek philosophers formulated the theory of Man in Microcosm that is, the human being is a miniature version of the cosmos. According to this concept everything in nature has a parallel in human beings, and thus humankind and the universe are linked together in a system of correlations. The study of the Sun, Moon and stars began well before recorded history. Ancient astrologers charted the movement of planets and stars and made predictions about eclipses, upheavals, famine and fortune. In ancient societies religion and astrology were linked. Astrologers were usually priests. Most ancient societies studied astrology like the Egyptians, Babylonians, and the Greek and Roman empires. After the fall of Rome astrology went into decline. And didn’t recover until after A.D. 1200. Astrology became very linked with superstition during the Roman era where Christianity was becoming widespread and astrology was thought of as the work of the devil. Though astrology wasn’t practiced in Europe during this time it was still practiced and remained a serious science in other countries. During the Renaissance there was a resurgence of astrology. And throughout history it has declined and bloomed again and again as times and people have changed.

Now astrology an old practice is becoming even more popular mainstream where they’re are astrologers working even on social media (as I’ll list below)

Mercury retrograde. Mercury is the planet of communication, intelligence, perception and intellectual energy. Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo. When a planet is in retrograde it is the backward motion of a planet traveling through the zodiac. During mercury retrograde things dealing with communication, perception and intelligence can be thrown off. And can turn into deceit, coldness, and argumentativeness.

Mercury was in retrograde but is now direct starting today. So, if any issues arose for you during this last retrograde of the year look for the lesson and if you can mend what can be fixed. (November 16-December 6).

So, that’s a lot of information to process and I think that’s all I’m going to talk about in this first introduction of astrology. I was into zodiacs before astrology. And would read my horoscope everyday in middle and high school. It wasn’t until maybe 3-4 years ago I learned of birth charts and all the other signs that we each are that astrology and zodiacs and horoscopes started to make more sense. As a introverted sometimes shy Gemini just reading my sun sign doesn’t really relate to me. Plus there’s way more insight in horoscopes and astrology now than there was 10 years ago and it’s not just you’ll meet someone new today stuff.

I probably will do a follow up post on Venus and Mercury signs and also talk about the houses and why they are important in understanding the birth chart.

Some astrologers that I follow on Instagram are: @jaliessasipress , @thehoodwitch , and @thevoluptuouswitch.

And on Twitter @audrykitching and @mysticxlipstick

This is the astrology book where I get most of my information on charts and understanding the signs.

Potty Training

I began potty training Sage over the summer but I’m not going to lie I wasn’t consistent at all. Between work and other things potty-training wasn’t a priority on my list of daily things to do. We transitioned to pull-ups with no fuss. Then started sitting her on the potty to get her used to it. And it kind of became a game for her. She liked sitting on the toilet and saying she had to go potty (even though she wasn’t yet) and she liked feeling a sense of independence and saying “I do it”. She did get really interested in her female parts during this time too and would ask me what things were down there for the first time.This led to print out coloring sheets with labeled body parts.

So, potty training is just an overall learning experience I wasn’t prepared for. My sister suggested (because she did this with my niece) that I should give Sage a reward like candy for using the bathroom in the toilet but I didn’t really like the idea so I never started it. Sage found it enjoyable without the “treat” and is now telling me when she has to go potty on her own without me asking her.

She still wears pull-ups to bed (haven’t figured this one out yet) but during the day she doesn’t (this includes during naps) and she hasn’t had many accidents once she got the hang of it. In the beginning she did have a couple accidents and wet herself while wearing underwear but she fully understands now and can feel the difference between her pull-up and undies- and if she’s wearing undies will say she has to go potty.

We got to this stage of understanding by having talks after she would have accidents me telling her I wasn’t mad at her and reminding her to tell me when she had to go potty. I also just started taking her to the bathroom every hour when she had on undies. This got her in the habit of knowing okay when I feel the urge to go I need to go to the bathroom. Talking and explaining things to Sage repeatedly really helped her to understand and get the concept of using the bathroom.

Getting her to use the bathroom to go poo I knew would be hard I don’t know about other toddlers but Sage would always go to the same spot squat down and poo then tell me she had. But the transition to her using the toilet and pooping really wasn’t that bad.

Every time Sage uses the bathroom in the potty she exclaims “I did it” so it is fun for her she likes knowing she can do something with her body on her own. Still working on the wiping but I’m so proud of my baby. Sage does use a separate like booster toilet seat because she’s dramatic and swears she’ll fall in the toilet without it. So, if you’re having trouble getting your little one to be comfortable sitting on the toilet seat I suggest purchasing a kiddie one.

I’m going to leave some tips that I found helpful and links.

1. You should definitely purchase toddler flushable wipes. These were a game changer because Sage would go through the motions using so much tissue when she didn’t even use the bathroom. Also it helps them be able to wipe themselves more efficiently. I get mine from target they’re the up and up brand and super affordable.

2. Like I said I suggest getting a training seat for an actual toilet but there also are those toddler/baby toilets that could be helpful in the very beginning with just helping your child get used to the act of sitting on a potty. You can also let your child personalize this mini toilet with stickers, paint, etc.

3. Help your child get comfortable with the toilet. So, whatever they need to feel comfortable using the bathroom do it.

4. Kids learn by imitation so having an open door policy is a good start to showing your child how to use the bathroom and correctly wipe. I did this even before potty training because I’m usually the only one home with my daughter and need to be able to keep an eye on her even when nature calls.

5. Let your child pick out their underwear Sage has trolls and poppy and of course that motivated her to want to wear undies instead of her pull-ups. The little things will help your child get used to this change smoothly.

Here’s some links I used while potty training with more tips to help ya potty train your little one.

https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a548953/potty-training-for-girls

https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/potty-training/tips/potty-training-tips/

Mom Talk #4

This mom talk might be a little sensitive to some mommas. Because I’m talking about co-parenting this month. I never thought I would identify as a single mom. Sage’s father was there my whole pregnancy and after for 9 months we did live together and try to make things work. There of course was a limbo period where we didn’t know what we were doing but I think we’re almost (knock on wood) in an okay place. I don’t have set rules or regulations for co-parenting I don’t like confrontation and have a hard time asserting myself. I’m learning to ask for what I want. Whether is a night off to hang out with my friends or just a night off for self-care. At first it was hard for me to ask for help with buying things Sage needed or ask for a break but co-parenting does get easier. I know society has conditioned women to believe their place is at home with their kids and sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice but that doesn’t have to be your reality. You can be happy with your child or children and happy alone having a night off (and this is whether you co-parent or have a husband). Never be afraid to ask for what it is you need as a mother to feel your best mentally and emotionally.

Sage is not yet on a set schedule when it comes to co-parenting but I would like her to be (if any of you co-parenting moms or dads have tips on scheduling let me know). I have had issues with accountability sometimes Sage’s father doesn’t do as much as he should and the responsibility usually falls on me to provide financially. As well as being her primary caretaker (which is why identify as a single mom). But he is there for her he’s her dad and really her best friend they have a bond and when he is around it’s like I don’t exist – so I make things work for her.

However, co-parenting is not about the parents and all about the child. Well, it’s a little about the parents because things need to be worked out and parents need to be on the same understanding when it comes to their child’s needs. But other than that it’s about doing what’s best for the child and not taking things personally when things come up (cause they will). Parenting isn’t a perfect system and co-parenting isn’t either. There is a lot of growth that has to happen with both parents for things to work. Separating your personal relationship from your co-parenting relationship with your child’s other parent is key to making this relationship work.

Co-parenting should be consistent similar rules, discipline, and rewards so your child knows what to expect with both parents this also won’t lead to confusion. Never vent to your child about the parent in a co-parenting situation. Stay focused on your child and less worried about what the other parent is or isn’t doing – however if problems do arise setting a meeting time without children present to talk through issues and resolve them will be beneficial to all involved.

Co-parenting is team work. Approach the relationship in a business like manner and keep conversations focused on your child as to not get past feelings mixed up. Always be respectful in dealing with the other parent and communicate effectively. Request for things instead of demanding and making comments about things that you want to happen but aren’t. And realize that with any relationship a co-parenting one requires work and communication to work effectively. If you and the other parent can stay focused on your child things should run smoothly. Also make big decisions together don’t make them in the spur of the moment then later talk to the other parent about it. Being mindful will go along way in keeping the relationship healthy and unstrained.

Your child’s emotional and mental well-being is more important than any petty thing that can come up in a co-parenting relationship just remember this and keep this in mind and co-parenting might at least feel better when things do come up.

Personally, I do my best to only focus on Sage when it comes to co-parenting as long as she is okay and happy I try not to let a lot of things bother me. If you co-parent and you feel overly stressed in an area whether it’s financially, mentally, emotionally or even in your physical body it may be time to communicate this with your co-parenting partner and come up with a plan to get things more relaxed. I know moms feel the need to do a be all things but we don’t have to anymore it’s okay to help and expect help from the person who helped bring your child into this world. Do not be afraid. And co-parenting gets easier and if it doesn’t take legal measures to get what you need for your child and for you.

3 Ways I Manage Stress with a 2 year old

Not going to lie my patience sometimes is at 0 with my daughter. As a single working mom I’m stressed more than I’d like to be. This of course causes me to be less patient with my high strung toddler and tense. Here’s 3 Ways I destress and find a lil selfcare for myself throughout the day.

1. Yoga

And I’m not talking about yoga as an exercise. I’ve learned quite a few poses over the years (when it was an exercise for me) and in the morning I sometimes put on nature or meditation music and just allow myself to sit and flow from pose to pose for however long I feel. Being aware of my breaths. And getting out of my head a little.

2. Showers

I’ve always had this weird gravitational pull to water (I’m not a water sign so this is why I say weird). Water calms me all the way down. And if my daughters particularly intense one day I will either make her take a midday bath or I’ll take one myself for some me time or we’ll take one together if we both need to chill out. For some extra relaxation I sometimes add epsom salt and oils to the bath too.

3. Listening to Music

When my daughter was a newborn I had a record player and one of the ways I’d get her out of a crying fit was to play records. I even had made a playlist called Sage’s Morning on my SoundCloud. Music chills me out cause it again gets me out of my head space. And for Sage she likes to dance so it keeps her occupied even if only for 5 minutes.

What are your tips for keeping cool and calm through the day with your toddlers? (or kids) let me know in the comments!

Diary #1

I had a planned blog post for today. It was going to be recipe for cabbage stir fry with all the veggies. But for reasons that post has been postponed. But because I want to hold myself accountable and stick to my schedule of posting every Monday I thought let me tackle some questions and thoughts that I have here to create dialogue in diary/journal posts. So, here’s my question for today.

Are we really defined by our things and not who we are? Or do our things that we own (clothes, where we live, our cars, our phones) do they measure success? Is there value greater than our own?

I think about this a lot. Mainly cause I’m in no position (yet) to afford a lot of things that people measure as forms of oh that persons successful or cool or worthy. Last year for the whole year basically I had an iPhone 4 yes an iPhone 4 I had a iPhone 5 but had broken it and didn’t want to pay for a new that would’ve been $500 because I wasn’t eligible for an upgrade. So, I opted not spend a whole lot of money on a phone because it wasn’t important to me. Instead I bought a refurbished iPhone 4 off amazon and that was that.

Having an iPhone 4 didn’t bother me but it seemed to bother other people. I went out a couple of times with friends and of course would pull out my phone to take pics to show them something whatever and on occasion this one friend would say things like you need a new phone. It’s not that my phone didn’t work it was cause it wasn’t the latest model.

So, this of course would make me feel some type of way like maybe I did need a new phone maybe I wasn’t cool enough cause I didn’t have an iPhone 6. (Or whatever this is just an example) But then I realized none of the things we have should really mean anything.

What is value? What is success?

Is it only measure by how much money I have in my bank account and if I have the latest and greatest thing. Is it the model and make of my car? Or a fancy apartment with a $1500 rent bill. Is it being able to afford things you want?

Of course I’m not saying that things are bad. I know we’re human and wants and desires are natural. But why is it so important?

Social media has turned value and success into showing off. And there’s a difference.

I don’t think owning things and having things is wrong. I just think it’s become a sense of status to have certain things and I’m not sure if I want to give value to things that much over people and relationships.

I don’t know. What are your thoughts on what success looks like to you? Does having certain things help you feel good about yourself/life? And why.

I think success will look different to everyone but I think it’s mainly a feeling not so much a surplus of things. Not a nice house not a fancy car. But being able to take car of yourself really take care of yourself. Your mental health your emotional health. To be able to pay your bills. Not struggle not be stressed about money.

It’s more of abundance of the spirit and not an abundance of things.

It’s the libra new moon today and I’ve just been thinking about my relationship to things and to “status” social media and what it means to me.

I hate that social media has become a popularity contest a numbers game. Aesthetics. For myself I just want it to simply be about connection. Connecting to others and sharing parts of myself and that’s it.

My Capricorn moon the past couple of months had me feeling upset. Sad, ungrateful, anxious for all the things I want. New clothes, jewelry, shoes. And not being able to afford these things. Overlooking that I have so much to be thankful for. I can pay my bills. I have an apartment. I have a healthy daughter. And if I continue there will be a break where I can really start to save money and afford some of the things I want. But if I can’t afford them now there’s no reason to feel negative feelings about that.

I’ve had to be really patient with myself and my feelings and figuring out why I felt so upset about not having the latest fashion or being able to buy those really cute boots I want. But looking at all I do have and saying I’m good where I’m at and being satisfied. Life is not about always chasing the next thing. I know with social media and instant gratification seeing how celebrities live that it can be daunting seeing all these things people show off but they are just things. I’m abundant. Maybe not by society standards (or even my own financial dreams) but I’m abundant in love and understanding and those things matter too.

And I’m ok. I’m more than okay.

October Playlist

Hey hey!

It’s my favorite month of the year, I love October. Halloween’s my favorite holiday. Falls my favorite season. I’m happy I’m feeling it. This playlist is probably the most “alternative” playlist I’ve made. Lots of “soft” rock. Some Jimi. Some 6lack. Some trap mixed in too. I definitely got into the Halloween spirit with Santana’s “black magic woman”. I’m so ready for Halloween. Sage wants to be Elisa *rolls eyes* but I’m excited to take her trick or treating. It’s the first year she vocally could say what she wanted to be. And I’m of course excited for Halloween parties I still dress up. There’s way more alcohol involved in my festivities though and I’m hype to say the least.

Anyways, hope y’all enjoy this playlist I know the songs won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But it’s a-ok. I’m going to be jamming out to these songs all month long. 🎃

October Playlist

p.s.

thinking of doing something different for November and posting my fav SoundCloud mix (or mixes) for y’all to listen to instead of making a playlist myself but I’ll be back with a playlist in December ♥️

Artwork @serpentfire