drunk elephant review

drunk elephant review

My birthday was last month and the freebie for it from Sephora was two Drunk Elephant minis. This is a brand that I was continuously seeing on social media and YouTube and even my best friend had splurged on their T.L.C Sakuri Babyfacial product. I had seen so many people raving about the skincare line how it had given them the best skin of their lives and I too wanted to try it. However, if you’re unfamiliar with this skincare brand (and if you’re into skincare you probably aren’t) then you know these are not drugstore priced products. And I just couldn’t rationalize spending $60 on one product when I could spend that same amount on three products. Or an outfit or a new toy and an outfit for my three year old daughter. It just wasn’t in my budget and part of me being a responsible adult. So, when I saw that it was a mini for my month I felt like it was fate and jumped on the chance to finally try the brand out.

What came in the birthday mini box was the Protini Polypeptide Cream and the Beste No. 9 Jelly Cleanser.

The Jelly Cleanser with cantaloupe glycerin honestly changed my life and mind about cleansers. I’m not gonna lie in my life of 27 years most of the cleansers I’ve used have been drugstore ones that were harsh and left my skin feeling dry. This is not that. Even after cleansing my skin didn’t feel dry but it did feel clean. I use the 60 second method and rub the cleanser for atleast 60 seconds into my skin paying close attention to my problem areas.

Besides the product being a game changer the packaging is really smart with a twist on and off top that keeps the jelly in the tube. I also got a months use out of this mini and was pleasantly surprised by this. I do plan on buying a full size of this next month. Plus the cleanser isn’t sticky like I find almost cleansers being. I can kinda be weird about textures so this cleanser is a good one if texture in skincare products is important to you. The jelly isn’t as expensive as some of their other products so I think I can swing it into my budget. It’s retailed at $32 at Sephora.

The cream which is a really light feeling but rich moisturizer. This product I used all of twice before I realized this is not something I need to use in this hot humid Atlanta weather. When I used it I instantly started sweating so I’m waiting to use it once the seasons change and am looking forward to the benefits. I’ve never really used a moisturizer and having one makes me feel even more like I care about my skin. I usually use almond oil or rose hip oil as my moisturizer but I know a cream will have many benefits in the fall/winter months.

Overall I would recommend Drunk Elephant to both my mom, sister, friends and my little cousins who don’t even have age concerns yet. The packaging the ingredients everything about this brand makes me want to give them my coins even on a budget.

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Parenting Privately

Parenting Privately

I started this blog at first to be a motherhood blog. I was at a point where I wanted more community in that aspect of my life since I am the only one of my friends with a kid. However, shortly after I just realized that I don’t need to have my being a parent broadcasted (not that there’s anything wrong with that). For me it felt wrong and it felt forced where I was showing off my daughter to the world because I was seeing so many other mothers doing so on large platforms and they were able to find that community. Its weird but I needed to find that community and that sense of motherhood in myself first before trying to find it in other women. I know parenthood is lonely and no one really talks about how it can be lonely the first couple of months and years as you yourself are basically having to find yourself all over again.

Also since I went into parenting thinking I’d be raising my daughter together equally with her father and now that I consider myself a single mom things have changed again. And as a parent and even as an adult when changes happen its really about just allowing them to happen and not holding onto any idea of how things are supposed to be. I know for myself parenting privately is more intentional and personal for me. I care about my daughters well being before my own. People are still shocked when I tell them I have a kid even though she’s almost 4 its just not something I feel the need to share though I am aware with social media culture that people think if you ain’t sharing it that means its not happening.

Parenting privately has also given me the confidence to parent I know it sounds simple but no ones ready to have kids were all figuring this shit out. Parenthood just happens. Yeah, you can prepare for it but not really. Its also just given me a better appreciation for my own parents and just allowed me to be able to make mistakes. There’s no one to prove anything to.

Abortion

Abortion

There’s been a lot of abortion talk the past couple days cause of these ridiculous heartbeat bills being passed at the state level. I don’t wanna preach about my views on the issue cause it shouldn’t even be an issue. However, I wanted to say my little piece about it and post some information some sites on abortions post my favorite internet things I’ve seen on the issue and that’s it.

So I like some women have a personal experience with abortion and a lot of this talk has brought up feelings and things I thought I had dealt with but I’ve been pretty angry and moody the past couple days and some of it I can say has come from all the abortion talk – which let me set the record straight I am so happy so many people are speaking up and sharing stories on the issue. There was a time right after I had an abortion where I felt immense shame for it like I had committed some unspeakable sin that I had to hide from people. But the experience like most experiences had an affect on me and it’s human nature to want to share things that change or you struggle with. The shame came from growing up Christian and if I still believed in Christianity like I used to my shame would probably still be here.

When I had my abortion I remember there was a woman sitting next to me where you wait in the hallway for your turn. You’ve been given pain medication already so your drugged up waiting in a hallway with other women who are all about to also have abortions. And I remember I was cold. Like shaking cold and the woman next to me asked a nurse if I could have a blanket. She then asked me if I had any kids I was 22 at the time and I know I looked younger than that when I said no she realized it was my first pregnancy. And she told me she was a mother of 2 but did not want another child nor could financially support a 3rd child. And I remember thinking this is a narrative I had never considered. I was just 22 and scared to have a baby.

The thing about abortion is that there’s all this stigma around it. There’s all this feeling and opinion and what is moral what is right or wrong. That women have abortions at a young age cause they’ve fucked up. Or that only poor women have abortions or only ethnic women have abortions. Whatever the case is what you’ve heard about abortions what you’ve thought about women who get abortions look like it’s probably false. Mothers have abortions, young girls have abortions, couples in love have abortions, older women have abortions, white women have abortions. Every type of woman has abortions.

I read this excerpt on ig earlier today about how the words pro-choice aren’t even really what people need to be using. It’s not about having the right to chose it’s about just having the right. It’s like just having access that’s it. It’s not about my body. It’s not about a heartbeat. It’s not about politics. It’s not about feelings. It’s not about religion. Abortion is a right. It’s not a choice. It’s a fucking right.

The first photo is a caption from @voluptouswitch on ig.

First time in Los Angeles

First time in Los Angeles

I went to LA for the first time last Wednesday. Stayed for 3 days. Ate lots of vegan food and went to the museum to see my best friends painting “Family Sized” in the California African American Museum. The museum party was a highlight of the trip and seeing so many black artists succeeding in their craft and celebrating blackness was inspiring to see, feel and be apart of. Seeing my friend flourish and be in her element talking to and engaging with people and other artists was both motivating and

The abundance of options there are for vegans in LA is almost unreal. I could have stayed in Lassens for hours looking at all the different offerings that they have that I cannot find in Atlanta. Being in California almost felt like a different world or country. The vibe was different the people were different (even though I’m not sure if I loved the attitudes from people out there) it was just really different from any other city I’ve visited.

I loved that there are so many thrift stores in LA even if they were a little on the pricey side. Everyone I saw in LA was fashionable but it’s was effortless fashion everyone was stylish and it looked like they weren’t even trying. We went and got tattoos on our 1 full day there. We had drinks we walked around a little – LA is not a very walkable city which made it tough to explore outside of Echo park where we stayed. We went to a club called the association. We ate at Sage, Montys, and a falafel place in Grand Central Market.

Already planning to go back in August for my best friends birthday to see her painting in the museum one more time before the show ends, to eat wayyy more food and to thrift more.

I am really grateful that I was able to go to LA and go with my best friend.

Here are photos from the museum and from thrifting. I made a separate blog post of just photos of food that went up yesterday.

all the art we saw at the CAAM.

Fun things. Los Angeles was so fun.

Mom Talk #5

Mom Talk #5

The Sexual Mother.

I’ve never been prude about sex or about the number of lovers I’ve had anything. I think it’s important for women to experience as much or as little as they want. But sensual energy is very important to my being. Finding what gives your body pleasure and what doesn’t it’s like opening a whole field of the women’s psyche.

As a mother I know society would rather have moms be domestic. Subservient to the father or male counterpart of the relationship. That the mother should be not too loud not too much.

Especially mothers of girls. It’s like now all of a sudden I am no longer an individual person but only a mother and a mother that needs to act a certain way about sex and sensuality so that my daughter doesn’t pick up on bad habits. That I need to dress a certain way to be respected and taken seriously.

But why does sex have to be a bad habit? My daughters 3 and I’m not at yet in the area of needing to explain matters to her about sex or educate her. However, I’ve thought of her being a teenager and I know already I’m not at all going to be restrictive. I’m not going to act like sex isn’t a thing. I’m not going to tell her she can’t have sex until marriage. It’s not my decision to make about her body. Just like it’s not anyone’s decision to tell a women after giving birth how she should behave.

There are plenty of women who are mothers breaking stereotypes saying they can be still be sexual beings. Amber Rose being the one that mainly comes to mind with her annual Slut Walk campaign. But if I got a dollar for each time I get into an argument with a man about how her walk is enlightening and they instead think she’s just allowing women to be “hoes” without shame or guilt I’d be a millionaire.

The double standard between men and women and acts of sex is so profound it’s a subject I never think will ever be completely healed. Patriarchy killed the sexual woman. It put her into a little nest box that said virginity is the utmost respectful thing you can give a man – that virginity is a gift. That having a low body count means you respect yourself that you respect your body.

I was raised in a Christian household but from an early age I knew that these certain expectations weren’t for me. Why can’t my body be both a temple and mine to make decisions for? Where did the discord happen that women shouldn’t have autonomy over their own bodies?

Is sex really so bad? Or does the notion of a woman being confident in her body and wanting pleasure that offends people into thinking a mother cannot be but one thing.

What are your thoughts?