Sage turned 3 last Friday. And I took her to children’s museum in Atlanta. Sage had fallen asleep in the car on the way there so when we first got to the museum she was a little overwhelmed so we went to the water fishing area first because there were less people in that section of the museum she had fun. Kept saying she was catching fish with her daddy. The other exhibits or sections of the museum is the kitchen a building/ball area, a jungle gym, painting station, Daniel the tiger section with houses and mail and stuff and a sand section.
There are also classes you can sign your kid up for but they go fast. We got to the museum later than I wanted to and the spots for the classes were already filled.
Sage wore a dress because that’s usually all she wants to wear anyway and even if we live in Georgia it’s still winter time. And she wanted to wear a crown so yes I was that extra parent for the day. She had a lot of fun there was a reading time of Daniel the tiger at like 2:30 but she didn’t want to sit for it.
The kitchen area is defiantly a Waffle House replica even if it doesn’t say so anywhere. That’s where most of the kids were and there was food everywhere I’m pretty sure it was Sage’s favorite section too. She kept making plates of food for her dad and myself and naming all the food or asking us what something was.
We stayed at the museum until close then went and got food. Sage picked this hot pink icing for cupcakes (which I forgot to get a photo of) she doesn’t really like cake and just ate the icing off a few.
My parents flew in to celebrate Sage’s birthday with her on Saturday and we went to yard house, a candy store downtown and to chuckie cheese. Next year for Sage’s birthday I hope she’ll have some friends from being in school (fingers crossed she starts this August) and I can actually throw her a birthday party.
Here’s some cute photos from her birthday and Saturday when we went to chuckie cheese.
I began potty training Sage over the summer but I’m not going to lie I wasn’t consistent at all. Between work and other things potty-training wasn’t a priority on my list of daily things to do. We transitioned to pull-ups with no fuss. Then started sitting her on the potty to get her used to it. And it kind of became a game for her. She liked sitting on the toilet and saying she had to go potty (even though she wasn’t yet) and she liked feeling a sense of independence and saying “I do it”. She did get really interested in her female parts during this time too and would ask me what things were down there for the first time.This led to print out coloring sheets with labeled body parts.
So, potty training is just an overall learning experience I wasn’t prepared for. My sister suggested (because she did this with my niece) that I should give Sage a reward like candy for using the bathroom in the toilet but I didn’t really like the idea so I never started it. Sage found it enjoyable without the “treat” and is now telling me when she has to go potty on her own without me asking her.
She still wears pull-ups to bed (haven’t figured this one out yet) but during the day she doesn’t (this includes during naps) and she hasn’t had many accidents once she got the hang of it. In the beginning she did have a couple accidents and wet herself while wearing underwear but she fully understands now and can feel the difference between her pull-up and undies- and if she’s wearing undies will say she has to go potty.
We got to this stage of understanding by having talks after she would have accidents me telling her I wasn’t mad at her and reminding her to tell me when she had to go potty. I also just started taking her to the bathroom every hour when she had on undies. This got her in the habit of knowing okay when I feel the urge to go I need to go to the bathroom. Talking and explaining things to Sage repeatedly really helped her to understand and get the concept of using the bathroom.
Getting her to use the bathroom to go poo I knew would be hard I don’t know about other toddlers but Sage would always go to the same spot squat down and poo then tell me she had. But the transition to her using the toilet and pooping really wasn’t that bad.
Every time Sage uses the bathroom in the potty she exclaims “I did it” so it is fun for her she likes knowing she can do something with her body on her own. Still working on the wiping but I’m so proud of my baby. Sage does use a separate like booster toilet seat because she’s dramatic and swears she’ll fall in the toilet without it. So, if you’re having trouble getting your little one to be comfortable sitting on the toilet seat I suggest purchasing a kiddie one.
I’m going to leave some tips that I found helpful and links.
1. You should definitely purchase toddler flushable wipes. These were a game changer because Sage would go through the motions using so much tissue when she didn’t even use the bathroom. Also it helps them be able to wipe themselves more efficiently. I get mine from target they’re the up and up brand and super affordable.
2. Like I said I suggest getting a training seat for an actual toilet but there also are those toddler/baby toilets that could be helpful in the very beginning with just helping your child get used to the act of sitting on a potty. You can also let your child personalize this mini toilet with stickers, paint, etc.
3. Help your child get comfortable with the toilet. So, whatever they need to feel comfortable using the bathroom do it.
4. Kids learn by imitation so having an open door policy is a good start to showing your child how to use the bathroom and correctly wipe. I did this even before potty training because I’m usually the only one home with my daughter and need to be able to keep an eye on her even when nature calls.
5. Let your child pick out their underwear Sage has trolls and poppy and of course that motivated her to want to wear undies instead of her pull-ups. The little things will help your child get used to this change smoothly.
Here’s some links I used while potty training with more tips to help ya potty train your little one.
Friendships are important. Some might even say more important than family. Friendships are people that you choose, you share with, you trust. And what better way to celebrate friendships than having a Friendsgiving chilling with your friends, eating, and showing them how much you appreciate them. Thanksgiving is about giving thanks. Bring grateful. Being appreciative. And just like we are grateful for family we should also be grateful for friendships. Since last year my closest friend has been hosting a vegan Friendsgiving at her house. Last year I brought Sage to the Friendsgiving and oddly I have no pictures from it – but this year I just wanted to hang out with my friends and have a rare but needed time off from mom duties.
I bought a vegan cherry pie from Whole Foods because I had to work all weekend and was being lazy and didn’t want to bake/cook anything. It was really good but next year I’ll probably suck it up and just make something because it was $15. There was vegan or seitan fried “chicken” cheesy vegan scalloped potato’s, vegan macaroni and cheese, and a cucumber- onion-tomato salad. I’ve had cashew cheese macaroni before and it was so rich and filling but so good. I may never do macaroni another way now. And the cucumber salad was very needed because everything else was heavy.
We played uno and jenga. My friends boyfriend has a studio in their house where he makes beats and we attempted (and I use this loosely) to make a beat. We watched big mouth, drank wine. And talked.
I ate my leftovers Sunday morning before I went to work and they were even better than I remembered! I left the macaroni for Sage to eat so hopefully she likes it as much as I did cause that’s how I’ll be making it from now on.
I’m an anti social person I like my me time and my own space more than others. I also can feed off others energy really easily and I get anxiety / stress from situations that can go “bad”. The people I do like to engage with I love them. They are very close and very important to me so Friendsgiving is easily one of my favorite social outings of the year. I like eating, drinking, and being with my friends.
If you’re like me and most of your family lives in a different state or if you have to work on thanksgiving having a Friendsgiving another day than on the actual holiday can allow you to experience the feeling of thanksgiving and celebrate. Everyone needs someone get in the spirit of celebrating who is there and shows up for you.
If you don’t have a Friendsgiving tradition I say start one! Even this year it’s not too late yet!
Sage’s birth story is something I always wanted to write about mainly because of all the things that happened that I didn’t want to happen. But let’s backtrack a little bit. I got pregnant at 23 I was still in college which was already not the most ideal environment to be pregnant especially with my body changing, hormones, and being “young” and pregnant and the first one of my friends all at once. Let’s just say pregnancy was extremely isolating for me living on a college campus when so much of my existence before was about how I looked and what the next move was. I was not in the mental space to have a kid. Or the financial or the emotional. I was a mess. I was a lonely mess.
Okay, so that added to the lack of knowledge around pregnancy and what I was going through – the lack of being to connect to and with mothers my age already led to me not feeling the most confident or sure of myself.
Many times at the hospital I was nervous I was scared. I cried more than once at an appointment. The one that sticks out the most though is when I had to get seen because Sage wasn’t turning the closer I got to my due date and it was decided that I would get a C-section. Prior to this I had cried at an appointment because the ultrasound technician had stated pretty bluntly that there might be something wrong with my baby because their was a white spot on her heart. More tests no clear conclusions. At the time I 1. didn’t realize I should’ve asked for a more apathetic nurse and that 2. I should’ve gotten another opinion about having a C-section. But at 23 with limited funds and no health insurance (pregnancy Medicaid came through) I didn’t have many options. But I won’t say my whole experience sucked. Even though the first 3 months I had horrible nausea couldn’t keep anything down – I wasn’t a vegetarian or vegan at this time but I would eat meat and immediately throw up. I remember the only thing I could keep down was packaged ramen (which is pretty damn unhealthy).
I was also put in some pretty uncomfortable situations like squatting at my baby daddy’s sisters boyfriends (yeah) apartment cause there was an empty room and we had nowhere to go as we saved money to get our own apartment. I pushed through. But I think a lot of times I did cause I wasn’t thinking about what was going on I had completely disassociated from what I was going through – I should’ve taken my ass home to my parents house and pregnancy probably would’ve ran a lot smoother I should’ve taken the semester off school and thought about what I really wanted in life and what I wanted to do. But instead I ignored and did what I thought I should do which was basically grow up over night and struggle. Cause when a woman gets pregnant and her life isn’t mapped out to a T it is always seen as a the biggest mistake in her life on TV. And being on a college campus I of course felt and saw all of this when people looked at my stomach and then looked at me then quickly looked away. I wasn’t relatable to the people I knew anymore so I stopped hanging out and I isolated myself more than I already felt.
But like I said it wasn’t all bad. I had an 8 am printmaking class and I would stop at Starbucks on campus everyday and it got to the point where the baristas knew me and would give me my sandwich and juice for free (probably cause of my protruding belly). And if I was late to class my professors never said anything to me cause its like everyone knew I was doing my best.
Having a surgery to give birth freaked me out. I blamed my body for not remembering what it was made to do. I was angry I was upset I was disappointed in myself. Honestly, I was fucking scared. Signing papers to give birth. Laying on a surgery table to give birth. Being cut open and having a catheter stuck up me. I don’t remember much from the actual birth as I was under heavy meds. I remember shaking when they pulled her out and looking at my boyfriend and saying I was cold. I remember the doctor who was their for backup or support or both coming over reassuring my boyfriend everything was okay and laying a blanket over me. I also remembering this feelin of something pulling as they pulled Sage out – much like when a tooth is pulled and you kinda feel it somewhere deep.
That’s all I remember really except the pain the next day. The soreness. Not being able to walk to the bathroom or wash myself in the shower without help. In the hospital I didn’t instantly feel connected to Sage cause good ole disassociation had been with me for months – but I cared. I stayed up at night just looking at her I didn’t get any sleep. I watched the sun rise every morning. I was so jacked up I got a cold sore. But Sage was beautiful she was angelic (cause lets face it every mother wonders if her baby will be ugly) and she was so chill she didn’t have crazy newborn fits or cry a lot probably cause I cuddled her all day and barley let her be in that plastic bassinet thing. She slept a lot.
And when we left the hospital it felt like a little bubble had been burst. It was like okay now go do everything on your own – go cook, go take care of your newborn and yourself and be in a constant state of happiness doing it. And oh make sure you look presentable too cause everyone loves a hot mom. I didn’t know what to feel. And I wish that society wasn’t so backwards about motherhood and was more about community (even though I was stubborn and didn’t want anyone to bond with Sage cause I felt insecure about being a mother and pushed away all outside help from other women) and how its needed and crucial to getting through the first year and keeping your sanity and not just going through the motions and patting yourself on the back cause hey at least your getting shit done and killing this motherhood thing.
I didn’t know how to be a mom or even me or 24 anymore. I mean I don’t suck at being a mom. I know Sage loves me. I sacrifice everyday for her and I think about the future more than I should cause I want to be able to give her things she needs and wants but I wish there was like I don’t know a crash course to all the FEELINGS of motherhood and how as a woman you have to change. There’s a lot of change. There are even more deaths I feel like in womanhood when you become a mother with all the expectations that come with it. I mean there’s already so many expectations of being a woman and add motherhood to that and its like you gotta be on your shit 24/7 and its just not realistic. And don’t get me started on the guilt. It took me months to go out without Sage or hang out with friends and then even more months to go out and not feel guilty for being out. There also seems to be this big separation between women who have kids and woman who don’t. It’s like you somehow have gone down a path of no return or something like their are two separate clubs. I don’t get it.
I know this probably wasn’t the typical birth story but that’s cause motherhood isn’t seen through rose colored glasses over here its the best thing I’ve ever done it has pushed me and pulled me and made me step out of my comfort and therefore grow and get off my ass and go for the things I want. It has humbled me. And for that I will forever be grateful Sage chose me and continues to do so everyday (I mean not like she has a choice lol the real test is when your kids are older and still love you).