Figuring it out

Figuring it out

Lately, I have been trying to figure out what drives me, what I’m passionate about, what I love and do as easily as breathing. I know I am a creative 1. Because I believe everyone is. Creativity is energy. And anyone and everyone can tap into it. And 2. Because I’ve created before I know I can again. I’ve kinda hit a rut, I guess. Ever since I’ve had my daughter creating seems like a struggle. It gives me anxiety. I procrastinate in doing it. It stresses me out I tell myself I don’t feel inspired and without that feeling whatever I do create won’t be that great. I think too much and then end up not creating at all. But sometimes there’s this fire in me that flickers a little and I know it’s still alive.

So, when I talked to one of my closest friends a couple weeks about what it is I wanna do with my life and what kinda impact I want to have. I started getting serious asking myself well what do I want to create and what do I want it to stand for and what do I want it to do for others and for myself. Cause creating really is a service.

And other than poetry and writing what is it that moves me. And it occurred to me that music moves me in ways that nothing else can. From a young age it’s been my thing. From singing in church choirs to singing in school chorus. Taking piano lessons and quitting it all. Music has always been the thing that moves my emotions and gets me feeling.

I remember being in high school feeling down about my looks not being secure in myself yet. I was so anti. I’d sit in my room after school everyday and listen to my radio. And I’d play Prince or Tupac my eyes closed and daydreaming. I’d fall asleep every night with my radio turned to v103s quit storm to keep the nightmares I’d have at bay (I’ve always had crazy vivid dreams that scared me that I’ve now learned to live with).

I guess what I’m trying to say is I think music is that thing for me I don’t know how or what to do with music. I know I don’t want to be a singer or rapper or performer. I take pride in these playlists I make every month. So, maybe something in that direction maybe making mixes. Maybe djing who knows honestly what I wanna do with my life changes so frequently (guess that’s the Gemini in me) something new always seems so exciting to me. But honestly music has always been with me.

I’m not sure what I mean to say here maybe nothing. But like if you know you’re destined for something and you’re unsure of what that something is this stage is okay too. Try a lot of shit out whatever interests you just try it and see what happens.

Crystal of the Month

Crystal of the Month

I’ve gone through some deep emotional trauma the last few weeks and have been feeling out of wack mentally and emotionally. A lot of unhealed issues dealing with worthiness and men resurfacing. Because of this I’ve been sleeping with rose quartz every night trying to give myself and extra dose of self love and warm feelings. But I have also been sleeping with chrysocolla. Chrysocolla is a blue-green crystal that looks spotted like a robins egg. It has calming nurturing energy. Enhances physic ability and intuition. Alleviates feelings of anxiety (which I need). Is divine feminine energy.

Chrysocolla is blue so it is calming in nature and it gives you a sense of self assurance that I really need right now. Compassion, gentleness and authentic expression are also qualities chrysocolla will bring out of you. Chrysocolla will help you with saying or not saying something you’ll regret.

In terms of health chrysocolla helps with physical aliments and swelling. As a feminine crystal it will also help with hormonal balance. It also has the ability to heal ovarian cysts. Chrysocolla will keep your temper in check with it’s calming properties. Wear or work with one daily for even temperance. Chrysocolla as a blue crystal has a relationship with the throat chakra and will help aid in compassionate speech when worked with.

Wearing or meditating with chrysocolla will also help with the psychic ability clairaudience which is the ability to hear spirits, energy and guidance. This deals with the throat chakra. It will also help in developing or deepening clarirsentience which is the ability to feel or sense the presence of spirits, energy, emotions or guidance in the solar plexus chakra.

Throat chakra. Self-love. Chrysocolla is a lot of compassion for self wrapped up in this blue crystal. A stone of communication. Empowerment and teaching. Helps with anxiety and depression.

I mediated with chrysocolla Tuesday night as I couldn’t sleep and had really deep sleep I woke up feeling like I had been asleep for years. And all the emotional trauma I had been experiencing has been softened which was much needed. Chrysocolla was a crystal I bought a couple years ago wanting to get more in touch with my divine feminine and it has helped me in many other ways. If you’re into crystals or want to be chrysocolla is a crystal that is needed in your collection.

Crystal of the Month

Orange calcite is this months crystal as I’m currently focusing on my sacral chakra and using my orange crystals to tune into this second chakra. I’ll also touch on carnelian which is my other sacral go to crystal. And mookaite jasper which is another crystal I’ve been meditating with currently. Orange calcite is this translucent colored crystal that is mostly grown and harvested in Mexico I have been sleeping with orange calcite under my pillow the past couple days. It really is gently easy flowing energy. And I’ve already started painting again I painted yesterday for a little bit and I don’t paint consistently (at all cause of stress & things) but I’ve been feelin a creative “spark” since using the orange calcite. Just wanting to not let fear eat at me and go for it. Orange crystals are perfect for confidence, joy, creativity, fertility, abundance, inventiveness, independence, self-esteem, strengthening identity, happiness, and creative / artistic ventures. Orange calcite is a powerful yet gentle stone and even my 2 year old is attracted to it and always wants to hold it. It’s warm energy.

The sacral chakra which is associated with the color orange is one of the three “lower” chakras and is the second chakra above the root. It’s area on the body is the lower abdomen. It deals in your sense of pleasure, abundance, joy of life, well-being, sexuality (and sexual energy) and creativity.

Orange Calcite is gentle restorative and revitalizing energy. Helps improve the flow of chi,creativity, and sensuality. Clears blocked energy in the sacral chakra, improves digestion, and strengthens the immune system. For a more relaxed state wearing orange calcite can help. Orange calcite also helps bring your emotional energy back into a state of balance. If you have trouble with mood swings or dramatic shifts in mood and temperament (my Gemini self does at times) then orange calcite can gently moderate this imbalance while you can seek out the cause of the moodiness. Meditating with orange calcite and carnelian (another sacral chakra stone I’ll talk more in depth about in its own post) can help you to feel more pleasure about life- if you are feeling unenthusiastic or blocked from experiencing pleasure in any form.

Element: fire.

Planet: Sun

Helps in balancing sexual energies. As well as removing any and all creative blocks one might be feeling. Though I got this crystal just to work on my sacral chakra it is really helping me to heal and clear creative blocks and fears I’ve had this year. I’ve began writing my manuscript for my book of poetry and painting again – finding my own creative style and not looking and envying what other artists are doing.

This is a good stone to have if you’re a beginner in crystal healing. Or if advanced. If you’re a creative. Or just as a chakra crystal stone.

okay, so let’s touch on mookaite jasper and carnelian a bit. Carnelian is passionate, determined, fiery energy. Excellent for creatives. Helps with empowerment and boundary issues, modified destructive impulses, increases feelings of confidence and self-worth. Mookaite Jasper helps relax you and surrender to the natural flow and rhythms of the earth and of your body. Improves sleep patterns. And feelings of being grounded and connected to earth. Both of these crystals would also be excellent for the sacral chakra in opening it and balancing it and if you just want certain qualities to stand out in your personality more.

Got this chunk from @wildandfreepeople on Instagram they also have an Etsy where they sell lots of crystals. I have a physical store I love to buy crystals from in Atlanta but I can’t always get there. So, having online alternatives is good for me.

if anyone knows of woc online sellers of herbs and crystals please send me their info!