I’ve been craving banana pudding lately so I decided to make it the vegan way of course. I used a instant vanilla pudding mix, vanilla shortbread cookies, bananas (ofc) and dairy free whipped cream.
I made the pudding first. Following the directions on the back of the mix – using organic almond milk in place of the whole milk the recipe called for. For the pudding mix to not stick I stirred it the whole time it was on the heat, which was for probably a total of 5 minutes.
2 cups of almond milk
Omit the egg (or you could add a vegan egg sub)
I poured in the 2 cups of milk first then the powder while it was on medium heat. Stirring constantly then bringing the mixture to a boil and stirring again for 1 minute while boiling then taking it off the heat.
I poured the pudding into 2 ramekins and into 1 smaller mason jar.
I let them cool for 10 minutes on the counter then put them in the fridge for 90 minutes.
after the 90 minutes I poured all the pudding mix into a blender with vanilla wafers about 2 handfuls and 2 bananas and a little bit of milk.
blended it all together and poured them back into the containers and let them sit in the fridge for a little bit longer.
The banana pudding mix was actually way better than I expected and I’m already wishing I had bought more than 1 mix.
I started this blog at first to be a motherhood blog. I was at a point where I wanted more community in that aspect of my life since I am the only one of my friends with a kid. However, shortly after I just realized that I don’t need to have my being a parent broadcasted (not that there’s anything wrong with that). For me it felt wrong and it felt forced where I was showing off my daughter to the world because I was seeing so many other mothers doing so on large platforms and they were able to find that community. Its weird but I needed to find that community and that sense of motherhood in myself first before trying to find it in other women. I know parenthood is lonely and no one really talks about how it can be lonely the first couple of months and years as you yourself are basically having to find yourself all over again.
Also since I went into parenting thinking I’d be raising my daughter together equally with her father and now that I consider myself a single mom things have changed again. And as a parent and even as an adult when changes happen its really about just allowing them to happen and not holding onto any idea of how things are supposed to be. I know for myself parenting privately is more intentional and personal for me. I care about my daughters well being before my own. People are still shocked when I tell them I have a kid even though she’s almost 4 its just not something I feel the need to share though I am aware with social media culture that people think if you ain’t sharing it that means its not happening.
Parenting privately has also given me the confidence to parent I know it sounds simple but no ones ready to have kids were all figuring this shit out. Parenthood just happens. Yeah, you can prepare for it but not really. Its also just given me a better appreciation for my own parents and just allowed me to be able to make mistakes. There’s no one to prove anything to.
July’s playlist visual is ready. I definitely had themes I was trying to explore with this playlist like life & death. And birth and betrayal and friendships and relationships. And just the ups and downs of life but how it’s all so beautiful (I know lol) but that’s just how I’ve been feeling lately.
Most of the scenes in this visual are from Love Jones there’s a small scene from Juice and also a video from YouTube.
Also here’s the link for July’s playlist on Spotify: Wind
I haven’t wrote a decent poem in 2 years. That’s real writers block. After I had my daughter I know for a fact my writers voice changed and instead of forcing myself to write or create I just chilled all the way out but would still feel instances of down emotions about not writing. I’m finally starting to feel little instances of words forming in my thoughts that string together into poetry. I haven’t written anything down. Nothing’s solid. But I can feel creativity and inspiration and my voice finally starting to creep back in. And it’s a good feeling. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to acknowledge it out of fear that it might go away. It was a tightly lodged feeling that I can feel deeply in my heart. But it’s here and I’m thinking (hoping) it’ll stay awhile. And something solid will come from it.
Until then here’s a lil sample of the poetry I used to write. Cause what I know will come from me now won’t exactly be the same.