Figuring it out

Figuring it out

Lately, I have been trying to figure out what drives me, what I’m passionate about, what I love and do as easily as breathing. I know I am a creative 1. Because I believe everyone is. Creativity is energy. And anyone and everyone can tap into it. And 2. Because I’ve created before I know I can again. I’ve kinda hit a rut, I guess. Ever since I’ve had my daughter creating seems like a struggle. It gives me anxiety. I procrastinate in doing it. It stresses me out I tell myself I don’t feel inspired and without that feeling whatever I do create won’t be that great. I think too much and then end up not creating at all. But sometimes there’s this fire in me that flickers a little and I know it’s still alive.

So, when I talked to one of my closest friends a couple weeks about what it is I wanna do with my life and what kinda impact I want to have. I started getting serious asking myself well what do I want to create and what do I want it to stand for and what do I want it to do for others and for myself. Cause creating really is a service.

And other than poetry and writing what is it that moves me. And it occurred to me that music moves me in ways that nothing else can. From a young age it’s been my thing. From singing in church choirs to singing in school chorus. Taking piano lessons and quitting it all. Music has always been the thing that moves my emotions and gets me feeling.

I remember being in high school feeling down about my looks not being secure in myself yet. I was so anti. I’d sit in my room after school everyday and listen to my radio. And I’d play Prince or Tupac my eyes closed and daydreaming. I’d fall asleep every night with my radio turned to v103s quit storm to keep the nightmares I’d have at bay (I’ve always had crazy vivid dreams that scared me that I’ve now learned to live with).

I guess what I’m trying to say is I think music is that thing for me I don’t know how or what to do with music. I know I don’t want to be a singer or rapper or performer. I take pride in these playlists I make every month. So, maybe something in that direction maybe making mixes. Maybe djing who knows honestly what I wanna do with my life changes so frequently (guess that’s the Gemini in me) something new always seems so exciting to me. But honestly music has always been with me.

I’m not sure what I mean to say here maybe nothing. But like if you know you’re destined for something and you’re unsure of what that something is this stage is okay too. Try a lot of shit out whatever interests you just try it and see what happens.

Advertisements

Crystal of the Month

Crystal of the Month

I’ve gone through some deep emotional trauma the last few weeks and have been feeling out of wack mentally and emotionally. A lot of unhealed issues dealing with worthiness and men resurfacing. Because of this I’ve been sleeping with rose quartz every night trying to give myself and extra dose of self love and warm feelings. But I have also been sleeping with chrysocolla. Chrysocolla is a blue-green crystal that looks spotted like a robins egg. It has calming nurturing energy. Enhances physic ability and intuition. Alleviates feelings of anxiety (which I need). Is divine feminine energy.

Chrysocolla is blue so it is calming in nature and it gives you a sense of self assurance that I really need right now. Compassion, gentleness and authentic expression are also qualities chrysocolla will bring out of you. Chrysocolla will help you with saying or not saying something you’ll regret.

In terms of health chrysocolla helps with physical aliments and swelling. As a feminine crystal it will also help with hormonal balance. It also has the ability to heal ovarian cysts. Chrysocolla will keep your temper in check with it’s calming properties. Wear or work with one daily for even temperance. Chrysocolla as a blue crystal has a relationship with the throat chakra and will help aid in compassionate speech when worked with.

Wearing or meditating with chrysocolla will also help with the psychic ability clairaudience which is the ability to hear spirits, energy and guidance. This deals with the throat chakra. It will also help in developing or deepening clarirsentience which is the ability to feel or sense the presence of spirits, energy, emotions or guidance in the solar plexus chakra.

Throat chakra. Self-love. Chrysocolla is a lot of compassion for self wrapped up in this blue crystal. A stone of communication. Empowerment and teaching. Helps with anxiety and depression.

I mediated with chrysocolla Tuesday night as I couldn’t sleep and had really deep sleep I woke up feeling like I had been asleep for years. And all the emotional trauma I had been experiencing has been softened which was much needed. Chrysocolla was a crystal I bought a couple years ago wanting to get more in touch with my divine feminine and it has helped me in many other ways. If you’re into crystals or want to be chrysocolla is a crystal that is needed in your collection.

3 Ways I Manage Stress with a 2 year old

Not going to lie my patience sometimes is at 0 with my daughter. As a single working mom I’m stressed more than I’d like to be. This of course causes me to be less patient with my high strung toddler and tense. Here’s 3 Ways I destress and find a lil selfcare for myself throughout the day.

1. Yoga

And I’m not talking about yoga as an exercise. I’ve learned quite a few poses over the years (when it was an exercise for me) and in the morning I sometimes put on nature or meditation music and just allow myself to sit and flow from pose to pose for however long I feel. Being aware of my breaths. And getting out of my head a little.

2. Showers

I’ve always had this weird gravitational pull to water (I’m not a water sign so this is why I say weird). Water calms me all the way down. And if my daughters particularly intense one day I will either make her take a midday bath or I’ll take one myself for some me time or we’ll take one together if we both need to chill out. For some extra relaxation I sometimes add epsom salt and oils to the bath too.

3. Listening to Music

When my daughter was a newborn I had a record player and one of the ways I’d get her out of a crying fit was to play records. I even had made a playlist called Sage’s Morning on my SoundCloud. Music chills me out cause it again gets me out of my head space. And for Sage she likes to dance so it keeps her occupied even if only for 5 minutes.

What are your tips for keeping cool and calm through the day with your toddlers? (or kids) let me know in the comments!

CBD Oil Benefits and why I use it

About a month ago I started to take CBD oil I don’t take it regularly (cause half the time I forget I even have it) but wanted to talk about my experience with it and its benefits. I first became interested in CBD oil when I was looking for an alternative way to ease my anxiety that wasn’t just smoking weed because the last couple times I’ve smoked it has only added to my anxiety (kind of like a bad trip) and I would be really paranoid and overthinking. BUT I’ve also had experiences with weed that were chill. I have only had bad experiences with weed since I had my daughter. I’m a natural worrier I worry about everything but being a mom amplified that and weed for some reason just makes it worse. This led me to do research on CBD oil and its benefits solely pertaining to anxiety. I’ve seen a lot of people on Instagram rave about its benefits and I know they’re a ton of brands and ways to take CBD oil.
I’m not diagnosed with anxiety by a doctor only because I hate going to doctors I can’t even remember the last time I’ve gone to one. However, I know when I feel “normal” and when I don’t feel like myself overthinking, worrying, stressed, crying over outfits and how I appear to others. I have social anxiety from being bullied, having low self esteem (not so much now) and I just have a general fear of people sometimes this isn’t crippling (even though it has been and can be at times) I work a job in retail however if I didn’t have to I definitely wouldn’t. Having Sage has given me the strength to do many things I would rather not do for the sake of her well being. I’ve always kind of relied on alcohol to ease my stress ( I don’t deal well with stress) and then for awhile I smoked cigarettes both which were terrible on my health. And as I am beginning to let go and release problems I may be having more I have stopped smoking cigarettes and drinking to ease my problems. I rely on staying mindful and trying to meditate with crystals when I can but as a single mom with a job and in school with a two year old running around its not always the easiest to stop in a stressful moment and get Zen (lets be honest). So, like I said I began looking for alternatives and CBD oil seemed to be the most popular one and I was also interested in herbal smoking blends (which I have tried and will also do a blog post on).
First off CBD oil is not weed oil. It is not weed in an oil form. Yes, CBD is taken from the marijuana plant but it is extracted from a different part of the plant than THC is. I was going to order online from a brand but one day I was in little 5 points in Atlanta and saw that a shop near my favorite crystal store was selling CBD oil and I just bought it on a whim. Lets talk a couple facts: CBD oil is expensive so if you’re like me and wanting to try it out I would say try to buy locally and purchase a small bottle if its and option. CBD oil is not like THC it doesn’t alter your mind and is not psychoactive. CBD oil is extracted from the marijuana plant and then mixed with a carrier oil like hemp seed oil.

Benefits:

  • Reduces Anxiety: this is scientifically proven effect of CBD oil. It reduces social anxiety in patients and it can even be suggested as a use for OCD and post traumatic stress disorder.
  • Relieves Nausea (in low doses in high doses it can increase nausea)
  • Relieves Pain related to arthritis.
  • May Reduce Acne
  • May help alleviate Cancer symptoms
  • May Improve Heart Health
  • May Alleviate Diabetes symptoms

But like with everything there are also side effects which include:

  • Can cause Nausea
  • Dizziness
  • Diarrhea
  • Vomiting
  • Changes in appetite
  • Dry mouth

I didn’t experience any of these.
I’ve only tried one kind of CBD oil but would like to try more brands. My experience with CBD oil is yes I think it does reduce my anxiety. The lady I bought it from told me she takes it for pain and that it helps relieve her pain. She was helpful in helping me choose the amount of CBD oil (the potency) because I hadn’t tried it before. I bought this tiny bottle for $20 so again very expensive in my opinion. She also instructed me to put 5-7 drops under my tongue let it sit for 30 seconds to activate then swallow. I can’t really describe the feeling of CBD oil because its not like weed it doesn’t just hit you. Its like my mind would be racing then 5 minutes later I would feel a sense of calm and my mind would feel empty and clear. Also helps me to stop obsessing over how I come off to others in social situations. I would recommend taking CBD oil to others if they have similar problems.

If you take CBD oil what is the brand you use and how has your experience been? Have you tried CBD oil chocolate or sprays?

More information on CBD oil and its benefits:

https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/news/20180507/cbd-oil-all-the-rage-but-is-it-safe-effective#1

https://wellnessmama.com/343810/cbd-oil/

Processed with VSCO with au5 preset